Healing Conversations: What to Say When You Don't Know What to Say, Revised Edition

An Invitation to Healing Conversations.

Getting Started.

Supporting others without fixing, rescuing, or judging.

1 When You Need a Friend.

Please, Don’t Ask Me How I Am, Unless . . .

Beginning a healing conversation

Using the Rule of Six.

Asking for help.

Just Listen.

After a sudden loss.

Rediscovering Empathy.

What comforts you may not comfort someone else.

It'll Be OK, Sugarplum.

Being a light at the end of the tunnel.

Mommy, Will He Be OK?

Helping children face their fears and yours.

Asking One Friend to Help Another.

When you don't have answers.

Before and After the Move.

Emotional attics and new road maps.

It’s Not What You Think.

The hidden hurts of bankruptcy.

Who Am I If I'm Not Who I Was?

After a life-changing event.

It's Over.

A relationship ends.

Anniversaries of Loss.

Special dates to remember.

Reflection: Tuning out of your head, tuning in to your heart.

2 Health Matters.

Test Results.

Getting the news or waiting to hear.

Peaceful Warrior.

When you want to help deal with a diagnosis.

Facing Surgery.

Before, during, and after.

Paciencia.

Recovering from depression.

Is the Doctor In?

Making the most of your time as a patient or as a doctor.

What's the Difference Between a Cure and Healing?

Living with chronic pain.

What About Me?

Supporting the caregiver.

Second Sight.

When a disability becomes an ability.

After the Accident.

Fears remain.

A Cry for Help.

Responding to attempted suicide.

Reflection: How to be with someone who's in pain.

3 Transitions: Heart, Mind, Body, and Soul.

“We're Getting Divorced”.

Appreciating what you may not understand.

Be a Friend, Not a Hero.

Helping someone deal with verbal abuse.

I Don't Want to Be a Burden.

Supporting the widowed spouse.

Splinters, Mice, and Little Things.

Learning to live alone.

Broken Hearts and Burnt Offerings.

When a gift offers a reservoir of care.

Plant Closings and Pink Slips.

Taking away their jobs but not their dignity.

Trapezes.

When someone is laid off, fired, or acquired.

What Is Enough?

Retirement as a way of life.

I Know Her Name.

Living with Alzheimer’s.

The Long Goodbye.

When death takes its time.

He Knows He's About to Die.

Visiting a friend in hospice.

Reflection: Being with their silence—and yours.

4 Lost Loves and Special Friends.

Leo the Cat.

Putting a “four-footed angel” to sleep.

When You Don't Get the Chance to Say Goodbye.

Unfinished feelings.

Best-Laid Plans.

When last wishes clash with the needs of the living.

It's a Blessing, Really.

When death brings relief.

Take a Friend to Lunch.

Writing the obituary.

Oh, Damn! Did Anybody Bring a Knife?

Scattering ashes.

When Mom Leaves.

A gift of poetry.

Honoring Paul Tsongas.

Writing a eulogy.

Notes to Keep a Memory Alive.

A letter to the children.

When a Young Child Dies.

A parent's bewilderment lingers.

Frail Submarines.

When someone chooses suicide.

When Tragedy Inspires Action.

Responding to a sudden death.

Grief Unburied.

Sorrow returns in waves.

Reflection: Sometimes there are no words.

Epilogue: In the End.

Healing Takes Time.

Appreciations.

The Author.

Index.