Dating - Philosophy for Everyone: Flirting With Big Ideas

The essays in Dating: Flirting with Big Ideas presents an assortment of playful yet helpful essays about the dating world, and the philosophy and psychology behind the decision to step out into the field.

Speed dating, online dating, group blind dating, dating consultants, hotlines; the singles dating scene brings in more than a billion dollars a year in the U.S., and is booming with options. Should they dive headfirst into this pool of available mates, or wait out the tide for that perfect one to arrive on their doorstep (“Mating, Dating, and Mathematics: It’s All in the Game” and “Why Less May Be More: Dating and the City”)?  And how can we treat our potential mates with respect, and come out the other side unscathed by the potentially shallow nature of modern dating?

Many single people have a checklist of traits that they are looking for in the ideal mate. This checklist can be easily uploaded to a dating website in the hopes of finding a perfect match. But do we really want a cookie cutter version of a mate, even if they fulfill all of our requirements? In his foreword journalist and author Joshua Wolf Shenk writes, “The desire to connect is the desire to jointly create a mutual reality that transcends our separate selves—and even, in ecstatic moments, obliterate them. But our only prayer at making these connections comes in holding onto our discrete identities.” The contributors carefully consider this philosophical need to balance and maintain an individual identity while also seeking someone to complement and amplify one’s own existence.

The contributors reveal the art of flirting (“The Philosophy of Flirting”), the all consuming nature of romantic love (“Crazy in Love”), illicit sex (“Buy My Love: On Sex Workers, Gold Diggers, & ‘Rules Girls’”), and your annoying friends who have “just the perfect guy/girl” for you to meet (“Against Matchmaking”).

The book includes five sections, and offers amusing, yet powerful, insights into building a relationship (Part I: Getting Started: From Flirting to Dating), avoiding the taboos and common faux pas of dating (Part II: No No's: Dating Taboos), becoming an expert (Part III: Rolling Right Along: Dating Like a Pro), cyber sex (Part IV: Another World: Cyber-Rendezvous), and the scientific, mathematical, and psychological rules of attraction (Part V: From Date to Mate: "Natural" Selection?).

The authors hail from a wide range of disciplines, including philosophy, psychology, communications, cognitive science, theology, economics, health sciences, professional ethics, mathematics, and computer science. They draw upon the Greek philosophies of love and sexuality (“Hitting the Bars with Aristotle: Dating in a Time of Uncertainty”), pop culture (references to Sex and the City, The Office, Say Anything, and The Notebook), and evolutionary psychology (“Evolutionary Psychology and Seduction Strategies: Should Science Teach Men How to Attract Women?”).