Fighting for Your African American Marriage

Adhering to the blueprint of their highly successful Fighting for Your Marriage: Positive Steps for Preventing Divorce and Preserving a Lasting Love (1994), the authors outline the "Four Key Patterns That Destroy Oneness" (escalation; invalidation, withdrawal and avoidance; negative interpretation), the "Speaker/Listener Technique" for clarifying problems and methods of "Problem Solving," with "Ground Rules for Handling Conflict." Readers learn to distinguish between issues and events and to recognize the need for commitment, forgiveness, intimacy, friendship, sex and fun in a successful relationship. Brief anecdotes and conversations bring an immediacy and familiarity to the text, and exercises at the end of each chapter provide practice. With the inclusion of Whitfield, Pennsylvania State University professor of behavioral health and the only African-American among the authors, this work sensitively and forthrightly addresses the "special issues" and concerns of African-American couples, which include the "the pressure of racism--stereotyped gender roles--the extended family of kin and non-blood relations--"the special role of the church" as well as economic issues and concerns "regarding interracial intimacy." The breadth of class and occupation covered enriches the book, as does the recognition that marital problems in couples of any race or ethnicity may involve where to have dinner or what video to rent. An eminently readable and practical guide. (Publishers Weekly, September 10, 2001)

A Selection of the Black Expressions Book Club