Life Coaching For Dummies, 2nd Edition

Introduction 1

About This Book 1

Conventions Used in This Book 2

Foolish Assumptions 2

How This Book is Organised 3

Part I: The Basics of Life Coaching 3

Part II: Your Life Coaching Journey 3

Part III: Focusing on the Elements of Your Life 3

Part IV: Working with the Themes of Coaching 4

Part V: Creating a Harmonious Whole Life 4

Part VI: The Part of Tens 4

Icons Used in This Book 4

Where to Go from Here 5

Part I: The Basics of Life Coaching 7

Chapter 1: Introducing Life Coaching 9

A Brief Definition of Life Coaching 9

What Life Coaching is Not 10

Living Your Best Life 11

Getting ready for change 12

Presenting the passport for your coaching journey 14

Choosing Life Coaching for Long-Term Results 15

Tuning In to Your Inner Coach 16

Introducing your split personality! 16

Giving yourself the gift of your own good opinion 17

Turning up the volume on the voice of your inner coach 18

Having a coaching conversation 19

Identifying Your Current Priorities for Coaching 20

Chapter 2: Deciding What You Want to Take from Coaching 25

Assessing the Benefits and Challenges of Coaching 26

Attaining goals 26

Achieving balance 27

Finding purpose 28

Changing your mindset 28

Growing through self-awareness 29

Enjoying the journey 29

Considering the challenges of coaching 30

Deciding on a Coaching Method 30

Finding the right coach 31

Considering co-coaching 35

Deciding to self-coach 36

Making a Promise to Yourself 37

Checking out your current life conditions 37

Framing your coaching promise 38

Chapter 3: Preparing for Coaching 39

Getting Ready for Your Coaching Session 39

Beginning Your Coaching Journey 40

Seeing the big picture 41

Packing your survival kit 42

The stages of your journey 43

Knowing Where You Are on the Road 44

Marking Your Progress 45

Using milestone goals to celebrate success 45

Giving yourself a pat on the back 47

Choosing people to cheer you on 47

Anticipating setbacks and relapses 48

Keeping a record 49

Painting a picture 49

Part II: Your Life Coaching Journey 51

Chapter 4: Becoming Your Best Self 53

Considering Your Unique Gifts 53

What do you do really well? 54

How do you do that thing you do? Boosting your competencies 55

Noticing Your Preferences 58

Looking out or looking in? 59

Finding your behavioural styles 60

Adding new behaviours 64

Chapter 5: Choosing Your Beliefs 67

Understanding How Your Beliefs Shape You 67

Where do your beliefs come from? 68

What are your beliefs? 69

What do your beliefs give you? 70

Changing Your Beliefs 72

Reshaping a limiting belief 72

Getting under the skin of your most stubborn limiting beliefs 73

Learning to Manage Your Fears 75

Identifying fears that drive you and fears that block you 76

Recognising your fear foes 76

Minimising your fear foes 78

Chapter 6: Discovering the Values that Motivate You 81

Navigating with Your Own Coordinates 82

Reading your personal road map 82

Knowing what your needs are 84

Getting Clear on Your Values 86

What are your values? 87

Reflecting on your values 91

Sorting Through Conflicts of Motivation 92

Looking out for your heart’s desire 93

Dealing with changing priorities 94

Chapter 7: Stocking Up on Powerful Questions 95

Delving into the Power of Asking Questions 95

Heeding hesitation 96

Confronting confusion 97

Fighting frustration 97

Don’t Get Stuck Asking the Wrong Questions! 98

Asking the Right Questions 99

Moving down the funnel 99

Finding your most powerful questions 101

Listening to the Answers 102

When you don’t know the answer 102

Tuning into energy levels to find the answers 103

Chapter 8: Taking Stock of Now 105

Practising Awareness 105

Taking short cuts without cutting corners 106

Balancing assets and liabilities 106

Redefining success 108

Focusing on outcomes 110

Tapping into Your Intuitive Self 112

Trusting your gut feeling 112

Living with a light heart 113

Cultivating a relaxed focus 113

Knowing What You Really Want 114

You don’t have to have what you’ve always had 116

You’re creating your future now 116

Visualising your whole-life goals 117

Placing your whole-life goals on your horizon 118

Chapter 9: Exploring Your Options 119

Moving from Problems to Possibilities 120

Avoiding the ‘yes, but’ game 120

The desert island scenario 121

Assessing Your Stock of Resources 122

Building supportive networks 123

Increasing your resources 123

Expanding Your Range of Options 124

Developing a creative approach 125

Playing with unlimited options 126

Choosing the best fi t 128

Chapter 10: Planning Effective Action 131

Smarten Up Your Goal Setting 131

Putting theory into practice 136

Smartening up to lose weight 138

Matching Your Options to Your Goals 139

Setting milestones for your journey 139

Taking baby steps 140

Keeping Your Promise to Yourself 141

Thinking like a hero 141

When life gets in the way of living 142

Exploding the myth of will-power 143

Dealing with jealousy from others 144

Part III: Focusing on the Elements of Your Life 145

Chapter 11: Career and Work 147

Assessing Your Attitudes to Work 148

Playing your part in different work roles 148

Balancing your different roles 148

Setting Your Work in Context 151

Making a conscious choice 151

Evaluating your job 152

Making adjustments at work 153

Improving Your Current Job 155

Keeping your focus 155

Dealing with negative situations 157

Finding Your Dream Work 158

Knowing your job-search goal 159

Working the market 160

Using your networks 161

Getting Recognition for Your Work 161

Getting feedback 162

Promoting your personal brand 163

Looking to the Future 164

Chapter 12: Money, Wealth and Abundance 167

Defining the Role of Money in Your Life 168

Being Financially Secure 169

Drawing up your financial ground rules 169

Developing your financial survival plan 171

Living Your Chosen Lifestyle 172

Counting the true cost of your lifestyle 173

Permitting yourself to be rich 174

Cultivating a Feeling of Wealth and Abundance 175

Giving It All Away 177

Chapter 13: People and Relationships 179

Enjoying Loving Relationships 179

Creating a relationship with yourself 180

Finding your soul mate 181

Building and maintaining a strong partnership 182

Deciding to leave a relationship 184

Nurturing Family Bonds 184

Setting family ground rules 186

Giving and Receiving Friendship 186

Maintaining lifelong friendships 187

Staying open to new friendships 189

Building Productive Networks 190

Widening your circle of influence 190

Getting into the networking groove 191

Taking a role in your world 192

Chapter 14: Physical, Mental and Emotional Well-being 193

Choosing Your Health Goals 193

Defining your health goals 194

Digging deeper into your motivation 194

Looking After Your Body 196

Avoiding illness and disease 197

Filling your body with the best fuel 197

Avoiding sweat and tears: Finding the best exercise for you 199

Building energy, strength and fitness 200

Taking Care of Your Mental and Emotional Well-being 202

Managing your emotions 202

Getting out of getting into a state 204

Developing mental resilience 205

Chapter 15: Developing and Growing 207

Thriving on Learning 207

Being your best 208

Harnessing your brain power 209

Playing in the Game of Life 211

Benefiting from a playful approach 212

Making the most of your leisure time 213

Getting in Touch with Your Spiritual Side 215

What is spirituality for you? 215

Accessing your spirituality 216

Exploring spirituality through coaching 217

Part IV: Working with the Themes of Coaching 219

Chapter 16: Attracting the Life You Want 221

Mastering the Art of Acceptance 221

Letting go of resistance 222

Being present 223

Wanting What You Have 226

Practising gratitude 227

Tuning into your positive emotions 228

Chapter 17: Coaching Yourself to Happiness 231

Discovering Your Happiness Formula 232

Getting into the flow 232

Delving into positive psychology 233

Identifying the elements of happiness for you 235

Discovering Optimism 239

Taking charge of your mindset 240

Practising the positive 240

Planning Your Happy Life 241

Making time to be happy 242

Keeping faith and focus on happiness 243

Chapter 18: Defining True Success 245

Knowing Your Value in the World 245

Adopting the personal qualities of success 246

Modelling excellence 249

Getting the Results You Want 251

Developing your inner success compass 252

Thinking Yourself to Success 252

Observing your thoughts 253

Creating positive outcomes 254

Chapter 19: Tackling Common Blocks 257

Kicking Procrastination into Touch 257

Getting to the root of why you procrastinate 258

Maintaining momentum 260

Sorting out wishing from wanting 260

Clearing Up Confusion 262

Knowing why you feel conflicted 262

Finding common ground for forward motion 263

Transforming Self-doubt into Self-esteem 264

Accepting yourself as you are 264

Knowing that you’re worth it 266

Part V: Creating a Harmonious Whole Life 269

Chapter 20: Achieving Balance 271

Finding Your Balance 271

Integrating the Goldilocks theory of balance into your life 272

Checking out your daily energy balance 274

Centring yourself 276

Regaining Your Balance 277

Managing yourself and your time 277

Learning to love delegation 279

Choosing to let go 280

Saying what you mean 281

Managing Longer-Term Stress 282

Spotting your danger signs 282

Coaching your way through stressful situations 284

Chapter 21: Making a Life-Changing Decision 285

Knowing How Your Stage of Life Affects Your Attitude to Change 286

Recognising Your Need to Make a Radical Change 289

Moving from pain to pleasure and purpose 289

Noticing the clues in your emotions 290

Deciding to be your authentic self 292

Making Your Best Decision 292

Fixing it 292

Fleeing from it 293

Building on strength 294

Letting Go and Integrating the New 295

Working through the change 295

Evolving to the next stage 297

Chapter 22: Applying Your Coaching Skills More Widely 299

Thinking beyond Self-Coaching 299

Developing Key Skills for Coaching Others 302

Hear, hear! The art of listening 302

Building rapport 303

Using Your Skills Ethically 306

Developing a Coaching Role in Your Life 306

Coaching friends and family 307

Building coaching into your job 308

Part VI: The Part of Tens 311

Chapter 23: Ten Life Coaching Beliefs about Yourself 313

You Are Unique 313

Your Whole Life is the Canvas for Coaching 314

You Hold Your Own Agenda 315

You Are Resourceful 315

You Are Capable of Great Results 316

You Can Generate the Right Solutions for Yourself 316

You Are Free from Being Judged 317

You Can Make Powerful Choices 317

You Take Responsibility for Your Results 318

You Trust Your Senses 318

Chapter 24: Ten Questions to Keep Your Life on Track 319

What Would I Do If I Knew I Couldn’t Fail? 320

Who Am I Becoming? 320

What Am I Doing Right Now to Honour My Core Values? 321

What Am I Settling For? 321

What is My Legacy? 322

Where Do I Focus My Attention? 322

How Am I Using My Gifts? 323

What Am I Holding on to That I No Longer Need? 323

How Much Time Do I Spend with People Who Inspire Me? 324

What One Thing Would I Change for the Better? 324

Chapter 25: Ten Daily Balancing Acts 325

See a Clear Vision 325

Take a Gratitude Tonic 325

Do a Kind and Thoughtful Act 326

Soak Up Wise Words 327

See-saw between Action and Reflection 327

Take a Deep Breath 327

Share a Smile 328

Give Yourself a Treat 328

Stretch Out 329

Get Natural 329

Chapter 26: Ten Inspirational Resources 331

Your Life is a Journey 331

Get Out of Your Mind 332

See Things as You Want Them to Be 332

Choose Happiness 332

Feast Your Senses 333

Value Your Life Experience 333

Poetry Creates Motion 334

No Place Like Home 334

Your Life is Significant 335

Let Your Inner Coach Come Out to Play 335

Appendix: Considering a Future as a Professional Life Coach 337

Getting Started 337

Considering Your Niche 339

Doing the Business 340

Marketing Yourself 342

Knowing your offering 342

Choosing the right marketing methods for you 342

Making Up Your Mind 344

Index 345