Never Get a "Real" Job: How to Dump Your Boss, Build a Business and Not Go Broke

Acknowledgments xiii

Foreword Michael Simmons xvii

Introduction: Never Get a “Real” Job 1

Who Needs the 9-to-5? 4

I Know You 6

What You Can Expect to Get from This Book 7

All Aboard the Death to the “Real” Job Express! 8

Part One The Breakdown 11

Chapter 1 Everyone Poops. Yours Isn’t Special 13

College: The Drunken Road to Easy Street 16

Dude, Where’s My Dream Job? 17

Welcome to Your “Real” Job, Mr. Janitor 18

The Broken Promise 24

Chapter 2 No One Cares About You—Unless You Make Them Care 29

You are Not Special 32

Claiming to Be a Winner Does Not Make You One 33

You’re Brilliant . . . So What? 34

Lifestyles of the Poor and Vain 34

Shut Up, Pinocchio 35

Put It on My Tab 36

Chapter 3 Darwin + Murphy = Reality 39

Your Business is Not the Exception to Any Rule 42

The Worst-Case Scenario is the Only Scenario 48

No One Will Invest in Your Idea 50

Part Two Building a Foundation 55

Chapter 4 Get Off Your Ass and Start Up! 57

Get Real with Your Finances 60

Those Who Reinvent the Wheel are Doomed to Be Run Over by It 65

What Do You Know, Anyway? 68

Keep It Simple, Stupid 71

The Bottomless Money Pit 74

Can Your SWOT Team Do CPR? 77

Chapter 5 Business Plans Suck 81

Toss the Old-School Business Plan 84

The One-Paragraph Start-Up Plan 90

Chapter 6 To Partner or Not to Partner 99

The Worst Partners for Your Start-Up 102

Don’t Consider Letting Worthless Flaky People Try Out 105

Never Jump Right In: The Water’s Not Fine 110

Part Three From the Ground Up 113

Chapter 7 Act Like a Start-Up, Stupid 115

Surviving a “Real” Day in the Life 117

Get Your Head in the Game, Chump 123

Design Your Entrepreneurial Life 128

“Mind” Your Business 136

Chapter 8 Shoestrapping (Because the Boot is Too Damn Expensive) 145

Fake It ’Til You Make It 147

The Only Team Your Money Can Buy 155

Do What Makes Cents 164

Cash Flow or Die! 166

Chapter 9 Those Phones Won’t Ring Themselves: The 15 Principles of a Power Seller 173

Come Out! Come Out! Wherever You Are! 175

Sell Like There’s No Tomorrow—Or There Won’t Be 179

Chapter 10 Facebook Isn’t a Marketing Strategy 203

Message before Platform 205

Think Guerrilla, Not Godzilla 220

Conclusion 237

Index 241